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Update - 24 November 2003
Dear All,
Wendy had a "cheery" telephone conversation with our oncologist today. Well, it was cheery apart from the content! I asked Wendy to investigate a suggestion with him that perhaps, given Wendy's HER-2 tests, we might be able to use Herceptin and the drug "Xeloda" in combination. The oncologist advised that Herceptin is no longer effective and clinical trials remain out as to the effectiveness of other drugs in combination with Xeloda. Additionally, he is constrained by what he is allowed to do and combine. Wendy will remain on the Aredia "bone hardener", and will receive it tomorrow week (i.e. Tuesday 2 December 2003) along with the Xeloda. The revised MRI report indicates a new lesion site in the brain. Currently, it would be described as "asymptomatic"- that is, no symptoms. Depending on how well the Xeloda goes will determine how the growing brain lesion will be prioritised. Should the Xeloda prove somewhat effective, we may review options such as neurosurgery, or radio stereo tactic surgery. We will have a reasonable idea in the early months of New Year 2004. The next time we see our oncologist, Wendy will ask him if the microarray research findings, that revealed after 22 months of uncertainty the primary as breast, hormone negative; influenced his thoughts on trying Xeloda as opposed his recommendations in the absence of the microarray information. If the results were a significant factor in his thought processes, then the analysis moves a notch or two above "simply academic". It has become useful information. For example, the hormone negative result may have told him what chemotherapies would not be effective?
I met a few people today at a Christmas function, who reminded me that at such times as we (again) face, prayer is the practical way forward. There are no other options. Where else are we to go? Prayerful support remains in abundant supply.
Jenny in Sydney advises: "I don't usually respond to your emails as I know you must get so much mail, but please know that we love you guys and you are always in our prayers. When I was walking yesterday morning I had a similar experience to 'Kathy from Canada' and felt God was saying to me "Wendy will be OK, I am in control". I know God has amazing plans for you. Jeremiah 29:11 says "'For I know the plans I have for you' declares the Lord, 'plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you a hope and a future'". Amelia (4 ½ years old) continues to be an amazing prayer warrior for Wendy. She won't even let grace at dinnertime escape without a prayer for 'Wendy to get better'."
John (and Val) tells: "I have been like the pray-er you mentioned in that message who said he didn't want to intrude on your precious time. But I felt when I read that message, I had to let you know how I want to join all the others who are telling you how inspirational your messages are. I know you will want to give the credit to the Lord - and that is fair enough, in a sense - but you, and Wendy, are truly amazing in your faith and ministry that you continue when you must be so wretchedly tired. Let me just add that Val and I continue to pray for the Lord's continual support and comfort for you, but never without earnestly asking for complete healing for Wendy." Melissa sends her love: "Wendy ....you have been in my thoughts and prayers SO many times in the last few days ( as has your whole family!!). Just wanted to let you know...love and hugs from me to you. Xx."
Prayer- persistence. On July 24, 1725, John was born. As he grew, the boy became a child only his mother could love. At 11 years, John went to sea. His language was gutter, his life debauched. His mother, every day, prayed for John. She prayed that he would become a minister. His mother taught him the Scriptures and Isaac Watts' Divine Songs for Children. And John knew of his mother's prayers. Her prayers did not seem to have effect, as John became known as "The Great Blasphemer." Unfortunately, John's mother died when he was still young. John became a truly horrible man, and became the Captain of a slave ship, transporting poor souls from Sierra Leone to far places. He lived a life deplorable.
On a homeward voyage, while he was attempting to steer the ship through a violent storm, he experienced what he was to refer to later as his "great deliverance." He recorded in his journal that when all seemed lost and the ship would surely sink, he exclaimed, "Lord, have mercy upon us." John's life would have seemed ruined and wrecked. His life was like the battered ship he was trying to steer through the raging sea, as he stood tied to the helm against the odds. Some of his early childhood teachings given by his mother came to mind during that storm- and he remembered that she had prayed for him. He remembered Proverbs 1:24-31, and in the midst of that storm, those verses seemed to talk to him as a life in despair where John had made very poor choices. On the 11th day of the storm, a storm both in himself and the physical, he surrendered his life to Christ. He found a New Testament and began to read Luke 11:13 that assured him that God would still hear him, in spite of John. Like Paul (aka Saul) so long before, John realised that God does forgive even with the most unforgivable of past.
John's life was transformed and he would eventually become one of the leaders of the anti slave trade in England. William Wilberforce, a Member of Parliament and a prime mover in the abolition of slavery, was strongly influenced by John Newton's life and preaching. John became a minister of religion, as per his mother's prayers, and gave us one of the greatest hymns in history: words that were sourced from a heart turned in the midst of a terrible storm, a heart that had led a sorrowful existence prior to that storm. The original 6 stanzas are:
"Amazing grace! (how sweet the sound)
That sav'd a wretch like me!
I once was lost, but now am found,
Was blind, but now I see.
'Twas grace that taught my heart to fear,
And grace my fears reliev'd;
How precious did that grace appear,
The hour I first believ'd!
Thro' many dangers, toils and snares,
I have already come;
'Tis grace has brought me safe thus far,
And grace will lead me home.
The Lord has promis'd good to me,
His word my hope secures;
He will my shield and portion be,
As long as life endures.
Yes, when this flesh and heart shall fail,
And mortal life shall cease;
I shall possess, within the veil,
A life of joy and peace.
The earth shall soon dissolve like snow,
The sun forbear to shine;
But God, who call'd me here below,
Will be forever mine."
We continue to seek God's amazing Grace. John Newton owes his eternal existence to the prayers, love, and early teachings of his mother. John's mother's prayers had their place, they were heard and drew a response from God. Prayer. Please never give up with those prayers, even when cancer appears to have taken everything we think we once controlled. Birgit in Germany is in prayer for Wendy. Birgit tells us: "Thank you for keeping me up to date on your battle against cancer which has led to a point, where so much darkness seems ahead of you. This re-minds me of my "dark" hours and what gave me hope against the odds. When everything seemed to go against me and a clear path was no longer visible, I always seem to come back to Psalter 23: "... and even if I wander across the valley of darkness, I am not afraid, because YOU are with me, your solid stick will keep me upright, will console me..." (Sorry, I do not know, whether the translation from German to English is correct). Maybe you know the singer "Kate Bush" who was quite famous in the 70s and 80s. I remember one of her songs, a very quiet one, only piano and her voice singing the refrain 'Don't give up, don't give up now' ...Sending you a soft hug, Wendy".
The prayers I relay from people throughout the world are but a smidgen of those in support. They echo the voices of many thousands in prayer chains throughout the nations. We remain humbled as many continue to petition God for the impossible- for the complete restoration of Wendy- for the false white god of cancer to be vanquished; for the further decree that brings victory from defeat.
Thank you for the many and for the Spirit that continues to call others to seek God's authoritative intervention in our lives and adverse circumstances. Wendy and I remember John Newton's inspired words, words that truly reflect something that may transform anyone and any circumstance, no matter how bad it looks. Our ship is on its 11th day of huge storm and we see our ship, very battered and sails torn, in such whirlpool and against such waves, thunder and lightening that we must surely sink. Yet in such turmoil, like John, we review life, and made our decision for Christ. We are supported by the many who have affirmed us through prayerful intervention in not giving up and standing on the Sword of the Spirit, being the Bible, illustrating vibrant example as well as promise in Hope pending and delivered. Like John Newton, we choose to live life under Grace. While our circumstances may have taken us to a place where we do not like and we are dis-empowered, they have not taken away the Power that provides choices for eternal life, or our will to seek God.
Cheers, through choice, continuing to trust in the Love that backs Amazing Grace, and thank you for coming on the long march of faith and prayer with us,
Graham for Wendy, Emma, Joshua and Samuel
Update - 20 November 2003
Dear All,
Although very much looking forward to it, Wendy was not able to make her scheduled ginger bread Christmas house making course yesterday- she has been too tired. Nevertheless, a number of her friends went to the activity, and delivered the ingredients to our home for ginger construction activity. Wendy remains tired, and the recent news remains a tiresome and troublesome top of mind affair. She will be seeing the palliative care specialist tomorrow, to seek assistance in removing the first three letters of the word "discomfort". We are still awaiting the final MRI report although we now have the details of the drug to be administered in 3 weeks. "Xeloda".
Xeloda was approved by the FDA in 1998 and is produced by Roche. The drug contained is capecitabine. This substance is converted by the liver (and note, the cancer in Wendy's liver has grown) and cancer cells to another drug called 5-fluorouracil, also known as 5-FU. It is 5-FU that acts to kill or stop the growth of cancer cells. Xeloda is a registered trade name, and belongs to a group of medicines called anti-neoplastic agents. Within this group, Xeloda belongs to a class of drugs called pyrimidine analogues. Apart from some other cancers, it is used to treat breast cancer that has spread to other parts of the body and has not responded to treatment with certain other medicines.
Metabolism pending, Xeloda will be changed in Wendy's body to the substance 5-fluorouracil. In some patients with breast cancer, this substance stops cancer cells from growing and decreases the size of the tumour. Unfortunately for Wendy, significant side effects may occur, ranging through diarrhoea; nausea; vomiting; sores in mouth and throat; stomach pain; decreased appetite; dehydration; hand-and-foot syndrome; rash; dry or itchy skin; tiredness; dizziness; headache; and the old favourite, fever. I can't say we are looking forward to the new treatment. However, prudence says that something must be undertaken as the existing treatment is no longer a "goer".
Against an ink black background, the request for prayer has been heard and many are in support- prayers that like stars shine, of awesome power should their true size and significance be known, showing brightness and calling for Hope against all that is so black. Andre writes: "Please know that you continue to be upheld in prayer as you and Wendy shine like stars in this world, like the star leading people to Jesus in Bethlehem." Alison tells us "I wish I had some miraculous words to speak and put everything right. When we have done all else we are told to stand. I continue to stand on God's word on your and Wendy's behalf and pray for that miracle, and I also pray that God will enable you both to continue to stand in faith and hope."
The Gladesville/ Boronia Park's Uniting Church Minister advises: "I will pass on your news to our prayer chain. I also forward a 'virtual' hug to you, Wendy and your lovely family. God's blessings on your difficult but triumphant journey." Kathy writes from Canada: "Good Morning Wendy. Really it's not morning where you are but still, I'm just up & about. I don't email you often - I know you're in touch with so many people, but this morning I particularly wanted you & the family to know that I'm thinking of you. On my morning walk, I always have a talk with God & you are a part of that conversation. I pray for healing & knowledge but I also praise the power of faith. I have never seen faith of such strength as that you & your family demonstrate. This morning as I walked I saw the promise of spring around me even though we're just on the eve of winter. The buds are thick on the camellia bush outside my front door and just the very tips of the first buds are visible on my big magnolia. That's the one I'll be sending you the photo of the minute those buds open." Herb writes: "Susie and I just simply are so encouraged and amazed at your continuing strength, we would have crashed long ago...we can only continue to intercede with Him who has and is the Power. Graham you are so diligent in keeping us all up to date with your emails, thank you for the time and effort. It must be very heart aching to write sad things about your best friend."
Let's not forget the Salvos. Bob and Yvonne communicate: "Thank you for your continual updates and insights to your journey and battle with Wendy's cancer. Cancer is a word that is either avoided or most people find some other euphemism for rather than face it square on in battle. In our Sunday evening service at Hurstville Salvation Army, The Songsters, our choir, sang a new song that was very significant to me and I thought that it may also be of blessing to you both. 'Though it seems we have forgotten how to dream there is a joy that always follows pain. And still the door of hope is always open and the hand of grace can lead us through. In all that's lost or found, on every road we travel down, We need to know there is a door of hope.' We pray each day for you both - for your care and a miracle."
For Wendy and I, it is the dimension God provides that is important to our strength. Esther illustrates, when an irrevocable decree was given and all looked doom and gloom for the followers of Yahweh, events unfolded that allowed a further unexpected decree that gave the doomed followers a reversal of fortune. The problem was not taken away, but a solution was given. Victory was snatched from defeat, as events went through a dramatic role reversal when the victims became the aggressive victors. In the entire book of Esther, God is not specifically mentioned. However, when I read Esther, a short drama, I am left in no doubt that the events have a flow of purpose, guided by He who is in control. Please pray for a further decree concerning the cancer that has spelt doom in our lives, that our events have purpose, where God Himself directs that Wendy, victim of cancer, becomes an aggressor against it- despite the enormous odds.
So much against odds, the cell line growth in an animal model with testing against lead molecules is a precursor to moving tests from the laboratory to the human. The time frame is usually measured by years- however, nothing for God is impossible- and unique events continue to surround our circumstances. Will it be in time to assist Wendy? Time has never been our friend. We were given a sobering 6-month prognosis when cancer was first diagnosed, February 2002. We are now on the cusp of 2004. A prayer group led us to Herceptin, and that is another reason we have a backward glance or two and express in our hearts some reluctance before we leave that drug. While we look with longing at the treatment we had that is applicable no more, the more sobering recognition for us is that our true foundation has never been based on the drug. It has always been on God the Father, Jesus the Son, and the Holy Spirit of Power.
Thanks for the prayer hugs that shine like stars against the inkiness. Prayer sparkles shining in offices; homes; on the way to work; on walks; in shops and in ships and planes and trains, and other places where the heart leads and pleads to the Trinity for intercession, for the miracle, for the further decree.
Cheers,
Graham for Wendy, Emma, Joshua and Samuel
Update - 18 November 2003
Dear All,
Wendy was able to fully participate in Samuel's 2nd birthday party on Saturday, and very chipper to boot! Following the party, she attended Emma's annual dance concert (Dance 1) with the theme of "fasten your seat belts". That was the end of her only up day on the weekend- it was a fantastic, albeit tiring day. Subsequent to these highlights, Wendy had a torrid weekend. Sunday saw several hot and enduring showers to manage significant discomfort. Unfortunately, the heated water affects the fentanyl patch infusion rate, something we need to monitor. Wendy is again on antibiotic, and saw our GP yesterday relating to chest infection. The unfortunate reality with low immunity is potential pneumonia- this is not the case, yet. Neither Herceptin nor Navelbine were administered today. The oncologist has formed the opinion the regime is not working, and wants to put Wendy on an oral drug that has something to do with targeting a different part of the DNA. It appears that we need 3 weeks to build Wendy's bone marrow to a point where she may take the oral tablets. They will be administered on a two-week on, one-week off timetable, with a number of side effects. I will have further details next week. Today, Wendy and my tightrope was shaken, we are off balance, and we know for a fact we are about to fall. More tears, further anguish, huge uncertainty against black clouds. Wendy has been in need of a few hugs, from both friends and family. Again we trust that God's safety net for life is in place, no matter what happens. Our fall is made certain not only by the change in chemo, upon which we have built some rudimentary winter shelter, but also from the brain MRI results.
The MRI scan of the brain was conducted yesterday, Monday 17 November 2003. While it appears that a new tumour site is growing, we cannot confirm this until the report is compared to previous MRI's. Due to a technical difficulty (like we forgot to take the previous films to the scan centre!) the final report will not be available for a few days.
A section of one e-mail message representing the "many" in prayer advises: "If I don't generally respond to your emails it is because I don't want to overload you with another thing to do - so don't reply to this! Just be aware that I think that there must be MANY like me that have you and family in heart and feel the best way is not to intrude in the family's precious time with each other. But you should know about us!"
Part of a message from Ireland reads: "As always B. and I are keeping up to date with your developments and we are praying everyday for Wendy's healing. We recently went on a "Holy Spirit" day as part of our Alpha Course and it was interesting how different people were affected in different ways. We discussed the various gifts and we were shown how to pray for healing and the various ways the Holy Spirit can manifest itself in each of us. To be honest...I viewed the various reactions with some bewilderment as people cried and shook and wobbled and laughed. Being a Presbyterian the outward showing of these types of emotions is somewhat new. I did however come away from the day with a better understanding of the Holy Spirit and am more aware of the Holy Spirit at work. My Alpha leader prayed with me at the day (sort of sneaked up on me and started praying and at one point was speaking in tongues). I in return prayed that God would not manifest the Holy Spirit in me by making me wobble, shake or cry!! I have however as I said felt a sense of peace and I feel my relationship with God is closer.... if still somewhat less public. When ever people ask me about my faith I constantly refer back to you Graham and how for me...you have been an inspiration and an example that I try to follow." I must admit that this message from the land of smiling Irish eyes brought a grin as I imaged the stoic Presbyterian against the informal Pentecostal!
And a segment from another: "Your updates remind me of how important each ambassador is. I have never been to formal bible studies but love to read your interpretations and positive messages. I have taken up reading the passages that you mention with renewed insight and vigour. How you feel overwhelmed by the workings of the body is how I feel when reading the bible. There are so many messages; my problem is I want them all at once. I feel that I get so much from your updates and have given nothing back. But I have added you to my prayer board (INBOX to God) this is that place where I remember special people."
The messages of Hope from the many seen and unseen in prayer continues to encourage us. Ultimately, we may but reflect the statement of faith in Job Chapter 19- remembering that Job spoke these words well before he realised that he would pull through his horrendous illness and restoration: "I know that my Redeemer lives, and that in the end he will stand upon the earth". After enduring so many months of living day by day, remaining in the midst of trial, having an uncertain outlook, we too make our statement: "We know that our Redeemer lives, and that in the end He has and continues to stand upon the earth".
Unlike Job, we have not put God through a court trial, which many of the chapters of Job relate. We have the benefit of Job's experience (and conclusion) to know that God is sovereign; that the world is a complex place and many issues will never have a satisfactory answer; that spiritual forces exist and influence all our lives; and that since God created everything, He also takes responsibility that a fallen world has many negative aspects to it- that is the way He created it, the order of things. In chapter 16 of Job, the concept of Advocate, of our Saviour and one willing to stand for us- eventually to take our sinful mortality, disease and place- is introduced. There is an aspect to Job on which few concentrate- that is Job's experiences changed three friends lives, giving them a greater understanding and relationship with God than they had before Job's trials. Through Job's circumstances, the "many" via generations that followed have, like the 3 friends, seen wider dimensions to life and God than they would have otherwise have seen in the absence of Job and Job's terrible and unjust suffering.
And a message from the Rev. Bill Rosier: "Please give Wendy our love. We pray for you both every day, and your family. I have just read Philippians 3:20-4:1, and it really spoke to me. "But our citizenship is in heaven. And we eagerly wait a Saviour from there, the Lord Jesus Christ, who, by the power that enables him to bring everything under his control, will transform our lowly bodies so that they will be like his glorious body. Therefore, my brothers (and sisters), you whom I love and long for, my joy and crown, that is how you should stand firm in the Lord, dear friends!" Come quickly, Lord Jesus!" Bill is a friend from my days at the Royal Australian Naval College- he was the first full time Protestant Chaplain posted to HMAS CRESWELL at Jervis Bay. Many have some fantastic stories about how they came into the church proper- mine is boring by comparison. At the grand age of 16 years old, I attended Christian fellowship because Bill preached at a Naval College ecumenical service and told the young officers present: "Don't forget Christian fellowship at 4 pm today!" As church was compulsory for new Cadet Midshipmen like me, I assumed that Christian fellowship was also compulsory and made the afternoon sojourn to that fateful fellowship. That day, I discovered something in that fellowship that I knew I just had to have. God's Love. Bill runs a Healing and Wholeness website at www.nsw.uca.org.au/bom/healing The website is sponsored by the Uniting Church, but is not just for Uniting Church people. As Bill tells, "...I am receiving emails from all around the world from people who have problems of all kinds, not just health problems...the sermons from St. Andrew's Cathedral by Canon Jim Holbeck and others ...are very helpful for people who want to understand more about the healing ministry. They are to be found under Teaching/Sermon Outlines. Also, the Prayer Request page which I endeavour to update almost every day. There are other pages also that may be of interest to those on your mailing list"
Life remains like a piano accordion. Wendy is pushed and shoved by bellows in all directions, never static, with different noise output against one constant in our uncertain lives- a special rhyme of musical notes that are real. It was Job's choice to make a statement of faith from the midst of despair and close to death illness. Likewise, it is our choice to continue Job's chorus of faithful resolve, thousand of years from when his words were first uttered.
Cheers, with our family's utterance of faith: "We know that our Redeemer lives, and that in the end He has and continues TO STAND upon the earth". Despite sand in the eyes, the further kick in the teeth, we stand. Requesting prayerful hugs, and a miracle.
Graham for Wendy, Emma, Joshua and Samuel
Update - 14 November 2003
Dear All,
Wendy has been in some discomfort today, which is usually the way after the chemo (this time being Herceptin and Navelbine, administered last Wednesday) with significant pain and sweating. The bed sheets have been changed thrice, and Wendy has had four hot showers- all in the space of half a day! We are hoping she will be OK for Samuel's birthday tomorrow morning. Thanks to the generous sponsorship of a friend called Wendy, our Wendy has seen a naturopath and is now on a low sugar, no gluten and diary free diet. The MRI scans of the brain will be conducted on Monday, and we may have results next Tuesday. The micro array analysis shows a fingerprint of breast cancer, hormone negative. What does this mean? We only had a brief call to the oncologist today, and did not get a reasonable understanding. However, Stephen M., a pathologist, suggests:
"I would interpret it as meaning that the tumour has the genetic appearance (or fingerprint) of a primary breast carcinoma - something that has been in doubt, and that it does not have hormone (i.e. oestrogen and progesterone) receptors - something that I think we have known for a long time, and which means that the tumour is not sensitive to anti-oestrogen measures."
The cell line grows slowly. In an effort to bolster growth, albeit at some loss against the eventual analysis, the cells may be placed in an animal model. Two men of great scientific vision independently worked through the issue of slow cell growth and came to the conclusion that this is the most viable way forward. I do not know time frame to get the cells into the animal model- and recognise the many technical problems that continue to exist. However, people are trying- and we are appreciative. We continue to be blessed by such lovely persons who have given much resource, in many cases valuable time, from a spectrum of lawn mowing; child minding; cleaning; food preparation; relief from children; to the most complex and mind numbing forefront of science, truly world leading cutting edge cancer research and development.
Christmas day, which co-incides with Wendy's birthday, is now measured in mere weeks. Wendy finds her previous birthdays special, but has never had a large party beyond relatives on the day, as others are pre-occupied with various activity! Combining Christmas and birthday presents appears a common occurrence for birthdays a week or two either side of Christmas day and almost a guarantee on the day itself. I know, having my birthday on the last day of the year....I always smile when I get a card wishing me happy birthday for the day and wishing me the best for the rest of the year. As for Wendy, she does OK on the gift front, and I have never made the error of giving only one gift! Gifts are wonderful. There are two sides to any gift. One is to give. The other to receive. For our family, we have been on the receiving end for 22 months, and the number of months continues to rise toward the 2-year mark. We have and continue to receive many gifts- thankyou.
God gives us the perfect gift celebrated on Christmas day- yet it remains choice whether to take the gift, or reject it. Something of special significance is that there is huge pleasure in giving- it brings an x factor that is difficult to measure. What is also wonderful is when a gift is appreciated- particularly when something is given that cannot be gained by the recipient themselves. We have had a taste of such gifts, particularly in the battle with cancer, which has seen provisions given by others we could not have dreamt. In terms of the research side of things, there are gifts of hope for uncertain futures- not just our own- but uncertain futures for others who suffer from cancer and for which Wendy's cell line may yet prove beneficial. God must have great joy when we accept His principal gift, given at such cost to Him on the Cross- and yet He continues to provide follow on gifts- "spiritual gifts".
The Greek word for gift is 'charisma' which comes from 'charis' meaning grace. A gift is something that is freely given because of God's graciousness to us. It is not something that we earn. We may desire a certain gift, but the decision as to whether or not we receive that particular gift is not ours to make. In 1 Corinthians 12:7, we read, "Now to each one the manifestation of the Spirit is given for the common good." From verses 8 to 10 we have a list (not conclusive) of the gifts that are manifestations of the Holy Spirit. We receive the anointing of the Holy Spirit, and He manifests or expresses Himself in our lives in different ways. Reference is made to gifts of healing. "Gifts" (plural) may simply mean that the Spirit manifests Himself in healing episodes on a number of occasions. When this happens, however, through the one person (as is suggested by the word "another" in verse 9) the Body of Christ may begin to take notice and ask the question, "Does this person have a ministry of healing?"
It is requested that people continue to ask God, as it is His choice, to provide "gifts of healing"- and that when given, those receiving such worthwhile gifts show courage by exercising those gifts. Please pray that the gifts of healing are made available to Wendy and others who suffer from cancer and its fearful domain- so that the gift of healing for cancer when given is not simply to the one, but many.
Cheers, requesting gifts of the Spirit, particularly healing, for Wendy and others,
Graham for Wendy, Emma, Joshua and Samuel
Update - 6 November 2003
Dear All,
My letter to the Peter Mac Cancer Centre, Melbourne, sent yesterday, in part reads...
"Thankyou for your correspondence ... concerning participation in your research project relating to analysis of frozen tumour transported to Peter Mac by Kolling Institute sourced from Wendy Boyd.
If practical, it would be appreciated if you would provide an overview of progress of the microarray analysis. I note that the test is of no proven diagnostic utility with a significant chance that the analysis will return no information regarding the identification of the true tumour type.
Also of interest to Wendy and I is the potential for your research project to identify the more responsive molecules and hence appropriate chemotherapy to Wendy's cancer. Wendy tested positive to HER-2, and has been treated with the chemo Herceptin since mid 2002. Prior to the disruption caused by the multiple brain tumour identification and then removal by surgery as well as radio stereotactic surgery, this chemo along with initial treatment with Navelbine allowed remission (in all areas apart from the brain). My laymen's understanding was that remission occurred due to the Navelbine attacking the tumours and the nature of this older style chemo was, to some degree, to destroy the tumours, with the Herceptin running interference for regrowth, due to the kinase HER-2 signal importance to the cell's nucleus to divide being interfered with by the inhibitor. Additionally, the Herceptin assisted Wendy's natural killer cells to attack the cancer. In the months since the neurosurgery, Wendy's cancer in breast and bone particularly around the chest has increased, despite the Navelbine and Herceptin combination. Should your gene sequencing project point to a more appropriate combination of "destructive" chemo, such as what I have considered Navelbine to be, which could be used in combination and synergy with Herceptin, then this may be of guidance to our oncologist, Dr Josie R. Dr R. has indicated a further 4 lots of Navelbine and Herceptin (i.e. one month) before using further cat and bone scans to determine the most beneficial path forward should the cancer have shown further progression."
In part the reply, from the Head, Microarray Core Facility at the Ian Potter Centre for Cancer Genomics and Predictive Medicine is as follows...
"... We have performed array analysis on Wendy's sample, and the technical aspects of the work are complete. At present we are analysing the data, and expect that we will have a result in the next week or so. I'm sorry this has taken longer than anticipated. Unfortunately that often seems to be the way in research projects. Thanks for your involvement and interest in our work. I will be in touch again as soon as we have any results..."
When Moses struck the rock at Horeb and water flowed forth, the events leading to that bubbling brook would have begun long before, perhaps even decades, when that special spring began to make its way surface bound. The work of the Melbourne University in microarray analysis is of vital importance, and while analysis may soon show things hidden within Wendy's cancer, the work to get to this stage has been in progress for many years. The refreshing spring water at Horeb described in Exodus 17 helped many, indeed even those who questioned if the Lord was among them- and the work of the University has the potential to assist many. Please prayer for the work of this very special microarray core unit, and the potential for understanding Wendy's cancer; assistance with Wendy's treatment, and to ask God if the results- whatever they may be- are simply of academic interest, or something of greater importance. As for the research company in Melbourne? Enough material from the continued growth of Wendy's brain tumour cell line should allow testing of their novel mechanism lead molecules in a week or two. Again, many years of research, and a further request for prayer for this special corporate and its parent company, and the many wonderful people who give the company direction and humanity.
Ev and Bev are tired. They have reached the bottom of their reserves, and found they had a few more reserves- and have now worked through those and progressed to the running on the "smell of an oily rag" status. As soon as practical, they will head back to Townsville for at least 2 to 3 months of respite, we hope. Ev needs the distraction of lathe woodturning. It is almost inevitable that Wendy's parents will come back; it is just a matter of when circumstances dictate the necessity. The question is when is the optimal departure time given our and their situations and needs?
As for Wendy? She is out tonight painting the town red being led astray by several members of her mother's group. Margot W., who collected Wendy earlier this evening, told me the choice of film was decided on the mere fact George Clooney was in it, and the girls have no idea what the film is actually about. It seems the Mum's in Wendy's group think George is "pretty dishy" (Margot's description).
No matter what else happens, the effort from people to step out to help us is truly inspirational. As for the technical aspects of it all? As we begin to fathom the workings of the human body, we start from God's perspective in Genesis, and then with knowledge we see other dimensions. Indeed it can become very complex, and I find I am constantly treading water trying to simplify what I hear to thoughts I may begin to grasp. I am in very deep water, and am the first to admit it. When all is said and done, we return to that first impression of the human, our first introduction in Genesis. We are created in God's image- and that is very special, and is a marvellous created thing notwithstanding the fallen world where sin has lead to disease and death. After working through and trying to grasp many things about our situation, I still come back to a simplistic perspective albeit in a sea of life complexity. And that is simply we exist because of God, and God has taken extreme measure to ensure good fellowship with Him. The philosopher in Ecclesiastes pondered it all and for most of his writings he considered life "meaningless", a chasing after the wind. Yet his final sentences really reached the conclusion of the matter and cut to the chase- when all is said and done, life is measured by God. Life does have meaning, and it has meaning because of God.
Cheers, from one inspired by the efforts of others,
Graham for Wendy, Emma, Joshua and Samuel
Update - 3 November 2003
Dear All,
The bone scan results were read out to Wendy and her father in the oncologist's office early today, Monday 3 November 2003. The bone cancer continues to expand particularly in the chest area in spite of the Navelbine and Herceptin combination. The oncologist mirrored our disappointment with the negative bone and CAT scan results, and seemed upset through his professional demur. He advised that he will try a further 4 lots of Navelbine and Herceptin before undertaking a set of full scans and then decide on perhaps a totally new regime, with neither of the existing chemo's. Wendy will have brain MRI's next week. I guess that since the time when Wendy came within a month of death around mid 2002, I have come to see Herceptin as Wendy's "molecular friend". The thought of leaving it and trying something else, when Wendy has so much cancer gives an analogy similar to leaving our winter abode stranded on our Antarctic Island. While far from comfortable, it has become to Wendy and I, "home". Simply, we do not want that further unknown, and would like something on the medical front that is positive. I guess it is our nature to want to be able to make plans for our lives again. Prayer for guidance and wisdom to our oncologist Dr Josie R. at this complexity of crossroads relating to appropriate treatment is again sought. I feel uncomfortable with the thought of shedding the base of Herceptin.
Wendy has cancer and it is growing despite application of what reversed it before, although we contrast one reality with her ability to undertake some strange activity, like painting the laundry! Time ticks, and again we appreciate the opportunity of Christmas 2003- a Christmas we thought Wendy would not see when viewed from mid last year, and we now relish the opportunity to express "Happy Birthday" to her on Christmas day, when she will turn 38 years. Wendy is adamant that the neurosurgeon will be coming to her 40th! Samuel's birthday looms a few weeks hence, and we look forward to officially welcoming him to the terrible two's. Samuel is an early starter when it comes to havoc, and we acknowledged his "two's" status with all its negative connotations many months ago! Of interest, Emma and Joshua fight as to who does not sit next to Samuel when it comes to meals- it seems Samuel likes opportunity to take with the intention of permanent deprivation the good parts of his next door neighbour's meals, and more than happy to propel those elements he does not like from his own plate to those close by. He particularly likes throwing things that stick to Emma, and she has taken the chosen spot furthest away from her wayward brother- and poor Joshua is stuck in the middle!
Thanks for the e-mails, cards and letters. A recent e-mail comes from Diana B., expressing her support: "Dear Graham, I ... have not had the pleasure of meeting the love of your life or the beautiful children that you talk about in your emails but something about your family moves me and after reading the most recent email I felt the need to respond. ...The first thing that I feel the need to say is that although J... and I are not religious people your obvious belief and faith moves me at times and I can see from reading the emails and following the progress of Wendy's disease that strength, determination and the will to go on and not give in are yours through prayer and hope provided to you by God... Such is the illness cancer. But rather than ponder this you and Wendy have chosen to fight with any and every means available to you and even in the face of much adversity you refuse to accept things without a fight to the death. You have my admiration, strength and all of the love that I can possibly channel to you over the internet and please know that although I am a stranger to your family you are always in my thoughts. Yours with much sincerity..."
We continue to feel blessed, although we also feel, when we contemplate the enormity of our situation, the walls of oppression closing. Much support exists from so many, and in prayer, we continue to push against those walls and to our surprise, find the walls do move outward!
The latest medical results have given rise to further disappointment, and while we would rather choose a different circumstance, we have been given something really, really worth having, and will not relinquish it for anything. The words of John 3:16 have significant meaning for that real thing we will not relinquish: "For God so loved the world that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life. For God sent not his Son into the world to condemn the world; but that the world through him might be saved."
We continue in prayer that our time is for healing, against the odds...yet our greatest prize, with literal tears as Wendy claims this against our sobering fact sheet, remains salvation. Prayer for guidance for our oncologist; medical breakthroughs (including the work with cell lines, testing of molecules, gene sequencing); full reversal of cancer; further encouragement and support to some weary carers (particularly Wendy's parents), and banishment of the arrows of the "white god" of cancer being fear, is requested. We again live through troubling medical revelation, and it is tiring.
While there is life, there is hope: and where there is Hope, life can exist as something very special. After a few more tears this evening, Wendy will recoup, and will aim for the movies with her mother's club on Thursday night- I hope they do not mind the smell of turpentine associated with Wendy cleaning paintbrushes...
Cheers, remaining in Hope, and being carried by a strength not of our making, but in the strength founded in Him responding to the prayers of many,
Graham for Wendy, Emma, Joshua and the early terrible two's man Samuel.